Today.... Lets not go to Today. A lot of thinking on some counts.

Chris thank you for everything, you truly are my best friend and everything else that I need in my life. Love you lots. Brittney is home and we're going to get together one of these days! Yay, we're both tan and lovin' it. Nothing more to say, so I'll write more later.

Mandle

Well Well what to write... Hmm lets think about that one. Im working now! Yaya the 'rents are loving that one. So nothing in my life is new. Andy moves in tomorrow, excited about that one. Chris comes home today and Im so excited about that one as well. Some of my friends are big meanies. I feel that if u donthave time for  me why the hell atre  you going to call me when im ur last resort??? Come on now, what the hell do u take me for? PLEASE! So I have met some new friends and IM NOT GOING TO TREAT YOU LIKE YOU TREATED ME! Lets get that straight right there.

Whoo I almost forgot, my Brittney is back now and I love it. Finally my journal is back on track! HALLER!

So not much is going on here forright now. I will talk to you all a little laters.

Mandle

Hey Everyone!

Whoa, how long has it been since I have written in here? Too Long, I'll tell you that much. Not much has gone on since the last time I wrote. You know the same drama in my life and people being A$$es to me. I LOVE THAT!

Stephanie, Im here for you if you need me, you know that.

Im working ow and loving it. Im getting better and only hope to reach full expectations by the end of the year.

Im going to say it again folks... People need to realize what they do in life to hurt others around them. You say its you, well you have part of it right, the other part is talking to people in person, but Im asking too much of that. Oh well. Nothing new, I'll write more later

Mandle

It took a while for me to see things as they were. In the light of truth, it wasn't me, it was you. I let myself get used to drowning in the hurt against the wall. Who'd of thought, it was you? All this time I thought it was me. From there I couldn't even look at you. I kicked down all the walls and started all over. And I don't paint myself into corners anymore. What do you do when love comes along, and offers your heart, a chance to move on? Or what about with no guarantees, no safety net? You trust what you feel, you take that first step. Well are you forgetting something??? You left us in the dirt. Just close your eyes. Reach for the momente before it slips by.Here is your second chance. You act like you were just born tonight.  So who does your time belong to now? You tell me you're trying to cure a two month ake.

Ahh I hate being replaced by some people. I feel as if I have noone in my life anymore other than my three other boys. You know who you are, or you should. And for you who may question what you are to us.. All of my entries are to you, in case you havent gotten it yet... Im sorry for saying it like this, but you know what? You dont know any of us anymore. And thats sad.  I have nothing but sad eyes.

You tell me I have pretty green eyes, but behind it all I have sad eyes. I hold my tongue, and I dont do much talking... Maybe thats what I need to do. You say you're having a great time and doing fine. Go on and say it because I have nothing but sad eyes for you. I hate it. If you see dark skies in my sad green eyes it's because I have no cover. You get me when you need help, and even toture. I dont like it, and Im begining not to like you very much either.

Did you ever want something so bad, that you could taste it in your mouth?  Well I need what we all had back... But others dont see it as such...

Mandle

Currently Playing The Bodyguard: Original Soundtrack Album By Whitney Houston see related

Nine holes are in... One more to go!

Life is the scariest thing that I may encounter yet. I have one more year until its all over for me. A decision that will decied the rest of my life. Military or Law Enforcement. I know the two may not be all that different, but trust me, they are. How could I be so lost in so many ways? I need to walk thru those doors and know what I want to do, and it looks like I dont know. I hate this.

All of my friends support me on whatever decision I make. I think the only thing I am afraid of is being a part from them. I love them so much, and they know it. I would do anything for them. I would capture the world and hand it to them. I think being away from them for so long will be the hardest thing, and worst thing for me. I look at my friend who is in the Navy and how he comes home, and we have all changed a little bit. I look at him as he looks a us, and I see nothing but the scense of "How I wish I could have been there for that." I hate to think it but what else can I do? I just hate feeling like this, and not knowing what to do. Without the people in my life, I woulnt be here, and I know its because of you four. You know who you are, and some people you need to pencil in to hang out. Think about it person...

I think thats another thing that I need to be all said and done.I hate how people, use you, hurt you, and play with your mind. You know who you are, and let me guess, you still dont know. I guess Im just a coward because I cant talk to you to your face. You say we need to talk individually, well where the fuck are you? Im sick and tird of me being the one coming to people. You have eyes, ears, and a mouth. SOO...

I dont know. I give up. I give up on all of it. I dont know why I write in this stupid thing. The person I want to read it, doesnt. So Im wsitting here letting the entire net know how I feel about some people. The people who are close to me know how I much I appreciate them, and others well, maybe if you get a break you would know how much I could care. But all you do is shut me out for someone/something else. But thats OK because in the long run hun, I wont always be there. But in your head, you know I will, and Im too much of an idiot to be there. So confused right now,

On a happy note... I have that interview tomorrow and all should go well. Talk to you all later!

madle